{PERSONAL JOURNEY DAY 1: Romanticizing Debt.}

There are parts of me that romanticize debt... as through there's an illusion around the struggle that somehow, it's attractive.

I'm a romantic at heart, so I'm suspicious that a part of me craves the drama... that I've learned how to operate from such a high stress place, when things are calm, I haven't really known what to do with myself, except to churn more to worry about.

Until now.

Today was NOT a victory. That much is easy to say.

I didn't come into a windfall of money. I didn't even come away with a major win for mindset. I couldn't even win tonight in being an epic parent, because my daughter had a rare meltdown over the fact that I mixed her coconut water with regular water, and then it devolved from there.

Here's what I did do today:

• I listened to this Abraham Hicks speech in the morning.
  • I wanted to get the $100 and put it in my pocket like they talk about, or making columns of debt to see where we're paying things off quickly, but I couldn't ply myself away from my laptop, and so, tonight before I go to bed, I'll visualize as best as I can.
• I did acknowledge how hard it was for me today in my FB group, in my business support group, and to my assistant, all of which brought about encouragement, but I think I just need to feel more connected to Spirit again.

And, so I keep surrendering.

Today, that's all I've got.